How Not to be Fooled on April Fools'

As you know, today is April 1st, otherwise known as "April Fools' Day." If you didn't know that, well now you do. Isn't this blog just full of information?

Now, most people do not enjoy being fooled. Being the victim of April Fools' Day trickery makes you look and feel foolish. Thus, we here at the Rinse and Lather Blog have come up with various techniques to prevent you from being fooled, both today and on forthcoming April Fools' occasions.

First and foremost, be careful of your surroundings at all times. Watch out  for people who may have put toothpaste in the inside of your shoes! Check your pillows for baking soda! Also watch out for any "kick me" signs that may have been taped to your back. While you're at it, watch for any "kick me" signs that may have been taped to your car. (Although, with the way that South Floridians drive, your car is just as likely to suffer damage whether or not you have a "kick me" sign attached to it.)

When you go to use the bathroom, be certain to watch for any plastic wrap that may have been wrapped around the toilet seat in such a manner that it may prevent any wastes from properly entering the toilet. (For those of you who are visual learners, we have an image of this below.)

Look at this high quality visual aid!

As a precaution, keep all razors, scissors, glue, sticky notes, and any other office supplies or materials that can be used to play tricks on you locked away in an undisclosed location until April 2nd. These materials are the building blocks for bigger pranks, and thus are a threat to your well-being for the day. Try to keep your phone out of reach of anyone, and keep your communication to a minimum. When you do communicate, be skeptical of everything everyone says. Trust no one. Except us. You can trust us. We are two, highly untrained, non-professionals. Nothing to worry about here!

You know what? While you're at it, you might as well stay home today. No one can fool you if you don't interact with anyone! Do you live with other people? No big deal! Just run away from home for a day! No one will miss you! Besides, you'll be back tomorrow!

Oh, and most importantly: DO NOT use the internet. The World Wide Web is the #1 source of media for tricks on April Fools' Day. Don't believe anything that you see/read on the internet on April 1st. That includes Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. That includes blogs that are run by two gentlemen who publicly post advice on topics such as "Getting Through the Workweek" and "How Not to be Fooled on April Fools'" under the guise of helping you rid yourself of 99.9% of bacteria by rinsing and lathering. Don't listen to anything any of those people say. You don't want to be fooled, do you!?

Addendum: By "fool" I mean 'a foolish person,' or 'one who is fooled.' I do not mean the popular Egyptian dish consisting of cooked fava beans. (Depicted below).

As Mr. T once said, "I pity the fool!" No, not the food kind.

Tony's Tips for the Workweek

Alas, the weekend has gone by, and we prepare ourselves to start a new week; a week full of stress, distress, and work; a week of waking up early and not going to sleep early enough; a week of working hard, intermingled with bouts of hardly working. The workweek sucks, so I've compiled some tips that'll ensure your survival.

Are your classmates or coworkers causing you to become infuriated? Just try to ignore them and take a deep breath. Walk away from the situation and come back later when you have obtained some pointy and sharp objects (preferably with serrated edges, so as to cause maximum damage).

Are your teachers being annoying and assigning too much work that takes you too long to do? I've got a simple fix for you! Just suck it up, stop being lazy, and do the work! Teachers can do whatever they want within the scope of their profession, and that includes assigning homework! Thinking about cheating? Don't do it! Plagiarism is a serious federal offense that could land you in prison! Not to mention it's morally wrong.
But who am I kidding? Just cheat, that's what all the cool kids do! You know what else the cool kids do? Drugs! You should probably try some of those, too!

Has your boss got you down because he's asking too much of you/ not paying you enough/ is out to get you/ (insert common complaint that people have about their bosses here)? Well, I've got news for you! Quit your job! You don't need him any more than he needs you, anyway! Then, sue him for all of his possessions under the guise that he did something unlawful towards you! With no evidence at all and no credible grounds for the lawsuit, you're sure to win! Just make sure to send us some of the money that you win from the case!

With these surefire tips, you'll certainly be able to make it through the week, all while maintaining your sanity! Then, you can waste the next weekend, pretend to do something productive, and then do it all over again the following week! (Unless of course you actually followed any of this advice. In that case, you're probably either in prison, bankrupt, or dead. Or any combination of those three things.)

As always, don't forget to wash your hands! And when you do, don't forget to Rinse and Lather. Slather.

P.S. For those of you that have school/work off tomorrow because of good old President's Day, just reread this post tomorrow before actually beginning your week. (Or something like that. You're smart, I trust you to be able to figure a solution out.)
Also, consider yourself lucky, because Nova Southeastern University does not grant its students the liberty of having days off to commemorate past presidents. (That's right, I just publicly called you out on the internet, NSU. Your move.)

In The Beginning

Hello and welcome. 

This new blog website is the child of a series of conversations that happened in my office at school where I work. We all know that creativity comes from conversations with people that take unexpected turns. Like turns of a roller coaster, the thrills are endless, and we go on again and again. So step in line and get ready to go on the ride with me. Just to be official, today is Thursday, February 13th, and this is my first post ever. In commemoration of Valentines day tomorrow, I have done you all a favor by putting together a few brief points on how to make a good impression on a first date. 

Go time.. 

1.      Be on time (except in Miami)

2.       Make sure you are well-groomed and smell nicely

3.       Check your breathe (just in case you get a kiss)

4.       Ask questions to get to know as much as you can about your date

5.       Be positive, don’t be bitter, have FUN

6.       Be courteous to the other person’s preferences

7.       Don’t talk about past relationships

8.       Leave your cell phone out of it

The End

Classic dates rocked. Bring them back people!